Shade
by idioticonion
Summary: Robin talks Barney into being her Bend Over Boyfriend. Very adult - explicit M/F. Set season 5.


**Shade**

Robin's always wanted to do this. She really doesn't get why Barney's being such a jerk about it.

"Look, it's not like I don't appreciate the offer," he says in that smug, smarmy way of his. "And it's not like the occasional chick hasn't stuck a finger where the sun don't shine. But I ain't being anyone's Bend Over Boyfriend, babe." He snorts, like he's being oh so clever, and she feels the prick of humiliation.

"Why are you being such an ass-hole?" Robin says, frowning, as she walks out of his bedroom.

He follows her, grinning. "Well, since it's my a-hole under discussion right here, I-"

"Oh shut up," she interrupts him, fumbling with her earrings while at the same time slipping one foot into a stiletto heel. "I'm going to work."

"Aw, Scherbatsky. Let's not go to bed mad?" He says with that fake puppy dog look that makes her want to throw things. He retreats from her glare and the switch is thrown inside him which turns him from Jackass-Barney to human-Barney. Hands raised, his voice drops a level and he tilts his head to one side. "Robin, don't be mad."

She shrugs. She doesn't have it in her to admit weakness, but he knows that.

"Look, if you wanna peg me, peg me. Just buy plenty of lube, okay?" He says, as if it's nothing. That's what makes her so mad. He's done so many despicable, disgusting things with so many women. Why can't he share this with her? Isn't this the sort of thing you're supposed to do in a committed relationship, with a partner who's a little on the wild side? Doesn't he want to experiment with her? What's his problem?

"I'm serious," he repeats, although there's something in his eyes, something lurking there. But he's got as many barriers as she does and she knows he'll never come clean.

"Okay," she says harshly. "I'll bring the… stuff… over tomorrow night. Tonight, I guess, since it's now officially Friday." She checks her watch. "Shit, I have to go. Later, dude."

She walks hurriedly to the door, grabbing her purse. She doesn't want to look back because she doesn't want to look at him. They've never been the kind of couple of kiss goodbye anyway.

At least, that's what she tells herself.

*--*--*

"You okay?"

Robin grits her teeth and pushes the inner dildo inside her until the latex panties are a snug fit around her lower body. It feels weird with the weight of the strap-on dildo sticking out front between her legs. As it bounces slightly, she feels its twin move inside her a little and the motion sends a thrill right through her. There's a ridge at the base of the first dildo that's now pressed tight between her folds, pushing slightly against the hidden pearl of her clit, and that sensation alone makes her throb.

Seeing Barney spread out before her, flat on his front on her bed, and feeling the mounting desire build inside her groin, it makes her feel kind of violent, kind of primal. It makes her want to take him.

She wonders if this is what guys feel like all the time?

"This is so hot," she murmurs under her breath as she crouches over him, between his long, lean legs. Her fingers trail along his thighs, ghosting the skin and she feels him shiver and tense. "You're hot, baby," she breathes.

He looks back over his shoulder nervously, eyes widening at the sight of the rearing black monster between her legs. She smiles reassuringly, running the flat of her palm over his buttocks to cup them in turn. Jesus they're firm - it's kind of kinky to think of plundering them, to be the one to take his virginity. "It's okay," she says. "I told you I'll be gentle."

He frowns and her mind races. He's looking pretty freaked out - that shadow's back in his eyes. It makes her wonder - perhaps she's not his first? Maybe he's had a bad experience with a girl?

Maybe he's had a bad experience with a guy?

With a flash of inspiration she picks up his tie and loops it around his head, a makeshift blindfold. He goes to push it off but she swats his hand away. "Trust me, Barney," she says. "I'm not going to hurt you. This way, you can concentrate on what you feel, not what you see, and if it's uncomfortable you just ask me to stop. Okay?"

He takes a nervous breath then nods. "Okay".

She starts off by encouraging him to spread his legs a little wider and lift his ass. She pulls a pillow towards him and pushes it under his stomach so she can get her hand under his groin, giving his dick a tug and fondling him until he stiffens in her hand. Then, very carefully, she spreads some sticky lube over her fingers and explores him. He tenses as he feels the cool wetness, but slowly relaxes. She just swirls a finger around his entrance at first, before popping it inside him and very carefully pushing it forward.

When she brushes over his prostate she feels his body tense. She can even see his spine arch a little, although he makes no noise. She's a little disappointed because she wants him to be vocal, but she's also very conscious that she needs to go slow.

She pulls out her finger and he goes tense again, so she plays with him a while, alternating between stroking him and penetrating him, until her finger flutters over the nub of his prostate again and he lets out a audible huff. She smiles as she begins to make him twitch in response, even getting into a slow grinding rhythm. The pressure of the hard ridge against her clit, the full feeling of the dildo inside her, it's driving her crazy so she leaves him alone for a moment and coats the front of the strap-on with lube, pumping it a few times like it's a real dick, and she moans when it pushes it's twin deeper into her.

She lets out a slow groan and he pulls himself up onto his elbows.

"Robin?" He says. "What are you doing."

She smiles and strokes his back, leaving a wet trail down his spine that makes him quiver, make needy little noises in the back of his throat. He tries to grind himself into the mattress but the pillow under his stomach prevents him from getting the friction he wants.

Slapping him smartly on the rump, Robin laughs and goes back to playing with his asshole. This time, she rests the tip of the dildo against the ring of tight muscle, plays with it. It's not a huge dildo and it tapers to a graceful point. Maybe if they do this again, if she gets him used to it, they can graduate to something bigger. But for now, she just wants him to accept that they can do this at all.

He doesn't react negatively - he can't see what she's doing after all, It must feel like her finger again to him. She supports the dildo with one hand, pushing the tip inside him, carefully, gently, and she keeps on pushing. She can feel the friction in her vagina - not intensely, but she can feel it. But not being able to actually feel inside him, she's more tentative.

He jerks, suddenly, violently, and she freezes. "Are you okay?" She asks, and he lets out a moan, his first one.

"Christ that feels… ah!" He says, as she involuntarily moves again.

"Keep still," she says, laughing.

"I can't!" He protests. "You're reaming my insides with your dextrous digits!"

She giggles. "Dude, that's not my finger!" He tenses again and she can see his buttocks clench. "Barney," she says carefully, bending down so that her bare breasts brush against his back. "I'm not gonna hurt you. Relax, dude!"

He laughs nervously. "Easier said than done. You're not the one with the dildo sticking out of your ass."

"Oh don't be a baby!" She says haughtily, but she waits for him to relax again before she pushes the dildo deeper.

She's disappointed that she doesn't get the violent reaction again, and that there's no verbal response. But he doesn't tense up either so she tries a few experimental thrusts.

This time, they both moan in unison.

"Fuck!" He says, and his hands clench into fists. The forward-backward motion jams the other end of the dildo hard inside her and Robin finds herself cursing him in turn. She's not even going deep into him - there's a few inches of the shaft sticking out of that firm butt. But he seems to be enjoying it enough and she keeps going, slow in, slow out. On the upstroke, it seems she's hitting his sweet spot as his groans graduate to pleas and comments and "Oh yeah"s and "Right there"s and soon he's ordering her to give it to him harder, faster, and she goes as deep and hard as she dares.

It's not like when he fucks her. It's not even like when she's been fucked in the ass before. It's slower, more careful, more precise. The rhythm builds more slowly, she has to trust that the orgasm will come (so to speak) and not rush it. She has to trust that they can somehow synchronise even though it feels like she's going to burst any moment.

Finally Robin just gives into the sensations, her thrusts becoming shallow, fast, regular, faster, more urgent, and she barely hears him when she comes, because she's only aware of his body, how it rears up beneath hers and as the release floods her, claims her, and spreads out inside her.

There's a ringing in her ears as she pulls out of him and leaves him twitching and limp on the bed. Carefully she peels off the latex panties and removes the dildo from inside her. Holy crap she's sensitive. She winces as she pulls the thing free and lets it fall onto the floor. Then she collapses onto the bed next to him.

His face is buried in her comforter, his blonde hair is sticking up at all angles in short spikes. Robin kisses the shell of his ear and says, "Did I blow your mind?"

She's rewarded with a highly satisfactory groan, that goes on for much longer than she expects.

"That good, huh?" She grins. "That mean you want to do it again?"

He turns his face towards her and his blue eyes shine. "How about this weekend?"

"It's Friday," she points out.

"I know," he says with a wink.

"Slut," she laughs, and kisses him briefly on the lips.

"Only for you," he replies with a lazy grin. "I'm reformed."

And there's something in his eyes that wasn't there before, something soft. It makes her think that maybe, just maybe, this time she can believe him.


End file.
